the hell u should go

Waking up w/ bad dreams.

What a very bad sign for me.

I don't like the dream that i had.

Hope it wasnt a deja vu.

Argh damn.

Physics today.

Studied last night bt couldnt understand n dun noe how to use the formula given.

Went to school w/ no mood at all.

Asking around for help to teach me physics.

I'll ask him.

"****** ! Cn u teach me physics?"

Him, "Sorry i xtau larr suruh larr haikal ajar..."

Me, "fine"

"Haikal ! Teach me physics."

Haikal, "I xtau langsung. Paham2 jer lar"

Me, haihhhhzzzz...

Entered the class texted my mum saying i cnt do physics. Stupid subject n aint making any sense.

He entered the class, "****** ! Teach me physics ! I dun understand !", him, "Owh ok."

Me, owh owkeyyy. i wonder y he doesnt want to teach me. Am i dat stupid? Im nt asking him to teach me da whole fuck up chapters. Juz da basic its fine by me bt he didnt teach me a single thing n whenever i asked him to teach me, he would say "owhhh i xtau larr.. Haikal lg tau.." wtf? N when anyone asked u to teach them u would go n teach them bt nt me? At least juz teach me basics dats all. Its nt dat hard. U knew bt u dun want to teach me i wonder y. Tears already in my eyes. I was panicking cuz aint understand a bit bout physics. He knew better bt owh well he didnt when to teach me. Its okie. I get.. Mybe im too slow huh? Bt i thought muslims suppose to help each other. In fact ur malay n im malay too. Soo y cnt u juz teach me?

No one noes how devastated i am till nw n da tears still there (yeahhhh... im dat sensitive =.=).... Kinda shocked cuz jiran sendiri xnak tolong nak buat mcm ne kn? Even my classmate yg xpro physics tried to make me understand even a bit n shes chinese, ur a malay, muslim, n my neighbour dont even want to help me wat cn i do ryt? Owh well the hell u should go. Its nt fair. At least teach me even one question bt u said no, im not good in physics n i noe nothing. Really heartbroken. Nvm that. May Allah bless what u've learnt. Its okie. Im fine. Perfectly fine.

hmmm =\

Its the way i live...

Its juz dat way soo stop bothering me k???

lol

What am i bluffing? -___-

Anyway, lifes well so-so..

Lost contact w/ my pet (kampan) cuz hes stuck w/ dat bitch.. haihzzz

Told him soo many time not to get involved w/ dat woman =.=

Owh well thank god its him nt me !
muahahahahah

Basically im boreddd till death here..

Me and my weird imagination..

Haihzzzzz

its hard its hard =.=

LOL

formspring.me

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/raisahfatinah

The thing that i love

Owkeyyy..

Im at home.

Nt knowing what to do...

Fineeee..

I dont want to study...yet =.=

LOL

Hohoho

Let me tell u what the things that i really love n do anything not to let anyone take them away frm me.

My sis..

n my family..

no matter how much i hate my dad n my mum n si gemuk n annoying my brother..,

they'r still part of me that i would never let go..

Yeahh i noe sumtimes its my fault n all...

bt life is hard.. Never been easy...

me, bazli (si gemuk), nadhirah (my beautiful sis), irfan (annoying brother). :)

N then the guy who changed my life, almost all, helped me a lot, been really damn patient w/ my bloody attitude..(heh.. its me fatinah.. not easy to handle -___-)

Im in love w/ him a lot.. Nt more than my family bt still..

More than anyone i have to say..

Love is all i need,

I've waited all my life,

You got me on my best behavior. - n-dubz

Yeahhh.. U got me afiq.. Love u lots :)

He n his weird thought -____- lol

N of coz my home sweet home..

My bed, my pillows, my books, n bla bla bla

Bt i love my pillows the most.. It was handmade pillows by my own grandmother..

Mostly i had them since i was standard 3...

It was by then my grandma fell sick till now..

Soo she cnt walk nor cook nor sew..

Yeahhh she was the person who baby-sit when i was baby till i was standard 2..

N my grandfather.. Goshh i miss him..

I still cnt forget when he got back frm work, me n my cousin, i was 2 years old n faiz a year younger than me, we will ride atuk's motorcycle n he will watch us.. yeahh.. sweet memories..

Missing my childhood moments.. Me n my cousins...

We were always together... Me, farhan, harith, amin, alan, safwan, we were close..

Bt now things never be the same..

Everyone w/ their own egos.

Y things have to change?

Sumtimes i wish we could never grow up..

The wish that will never come true..

Enough w/ dat sad moment -___-

lol

Owkeyyyyy back to what i actually wanted to post..

Jeng..jeng..jengggggg... >.<

OH EMM GEEEEEEE !!!!!!

I am sooooooo in in in love w/ Cheryl Cole n Tulisa (n-dubz)

They'r hot people w/ talents.. Yeahhh babyyyy... They'r hot as hell...

I love cheryl.. Shes hot.. She has beautiful smile w/ dimples..

Tulisa is hotzzz too ! She has curve body dat is really hotzz...

hahahah n no im not gay...

Juz loveeeee to c hot beautiful girls ! Lol

N ermmm i have taste okieee??? =.=

Niceeeeeeeeeeee

Hohoho

Had fun today..

My dad's family came to my house for ya noee da nasi briyani n talk n talk n talk n politic.. =.=

Lol

Aqil came to my house..

The VVIP according to my dad.

Lol

At 1st he was shy n hiding behind his dad !

WTH? =.=

N then he came to my mum n said "Mak Ngah masak nasi briyani ! Aqil suka !"

Haihzzzz

Always bout da food huh aqil? XP

 "Ayah suapkan abang?"

 Clockwise : Izzah zahirah, Aqil's little sis ! Shoooooo CUTE ! LOL 

Aqil : Hmmm kereta ayah kotor kena lap (me: =.=)

Aqil lovessssssssssssssssss taking pix ! He is sooo A-D-O-R-A-B-L-E ! >.<

Kak Syafinaz' daughters : Goshhh !! I can never be a nice sis lyk dat -___-" lol

Hohoho

N then met afiq aka my love today !

I gave packed him sum of nasi briyani..

I asked aqil to go w/ me n hes lyk "jauh lg ke kaklong? Aqil penat lar..."

Me " aqil gemuk sgt kena larr exercise =.="

lol

N then i hand in da nasi briyani to afiq n asked aqil to shake hand w/ him..

He did while hiding behind my back n hugging my butt =.=

lol

N then he said "Bye Abg Afiq !"

I was lyk awwwwwwwwww >.<

lol

Hohohoh

I love u sayang.. Ur da best damn thing happened to me :D

Briyani mari :D

Arghh gross..

Now i feel my insecurity coming back n i hate when it happened..

Its a total bitch feeling ok?

Shit..

I shouldnt open urs.

Argh fuck fuck fuck !

Sorry for dat particular word hav been repeat well not dat much

Bt hey u cant blame me when shits happened.

Aint my fault ok???? =.=

Owh fuck it

The HELL u go

Owh owh owh 

Tomorrow my little cousin will come to my house

hes 3 years old bt phewwww

damn heavy n love to talk

Last saturday, my mum called my aunt.. bt she didnt answer da phone call bt my little cousin did.

Mak : Helloooo ! Boleh cakap dengan ummi??

Da person : Hello hello helloooooooooo !!! Ummi sibuk larrr.. Baby nak susu ! Ini siapa??

Mak : Ini mak ngah larr.. Sape tuu??

Da person : Ini aqil larrr.. Mak ngah mana?

Mak : Mak ngah ayah ngah larr.. Aqil dah makan k belum??

Aqil : Dahh makannn.. Ayah beli roti canai satuu.. Mak ngah mana nasi briyani?

Mak "kak long aqil ingat lg pasal nasi briyani tuu..." Me " hahahah gedik arr gemuk tuu -___-"

Mak : Nasi briyani?? Mak ngah belum masak lagi larr... Nanti mak ngah masak aqil dtg rumah okie?

Aqil : Okie mak ngah !! Ummi ummi ummi mak ngah nak masak nasi briyani !!

well dats how it went..

Aqil wanted to eat nasi briyani n he wants my mum to cook for him... He asked her every chance he had.. It was funny actually dat he still remember it as i thought he would forget bout nasi briyani overnite bt clearly i was wrong =.= lol

cant wait to c him !

N FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ADDMATH ON MONDAY ! The shitting addmath on mondayyyy..

Well actually along w/ da ohhhh-too-complicated-subjects-for-me-dat-i-would-rather-die-than-answer-it =\

Lol 

Maybeeee i was a little melodrama bout it but owh well fuck it.

I cant understand y on earth i learnt addmath when i dun even understand it whats addmath really bout..

Owhhhh damn =.=

Be a reasonable friend is what i always ask for.

I sacrificed a lot for u n in the end i got nothing..

Hohohoho i think i have terrible luck in finding real friends.

Maybe my real friends havnt got into their "matured" moments n thoughts soo yeahhh..

Tunggu dah tuaa lar jawab nyer...

Lol

Bt hey i always there for u soo u dun hav to worry bout me going far okie? :)

Im missing my goat.. :(

The small little thing

Owhhh la la laaaaaaaa ~

I think im insane..

Shut up !!!

I can hear u said yes to urself u freak =.=

Lol

Owhhhhkeyyyyyyyyyy  Notice the title up there?

It means baby.

Notice the word "BABY" there?

Yes. Baby. Only when they'r small little thing..

When they more than 3 years old they get to be very annoying..

Which i really dun lyk =.=

I can be mother type at one time n can hate them at the same time..

Weird bt dats da truth...

Lol

Bt bt bt i only love cute babiessss....

Only da cute one.. Dats all..

If not i would be like "get off from me u little monster !!" -____-

hahahaha  I used to glare at the small kids n they cried cuz they were scared of me..

My mum hit me when i did dat bt it was fun thing to do..

I still remember when i was sitting alone next to my mum n then suddenly dis little girl i think she was about 3 years old came to me n do da smiley face.. I looked at her n juz glared at her. N then she stand ryt in front of me suddenly cried. Loud. Damn loud n she ran off to her mum. I was laughing my arse off mannnnnn.. It was serious shit funny. N then my mum gave me dis look "u-better-behave-like-a-16-years-old" n then i immdiately keep my mouth shut. N my mum said sorry to da mother.. She juz smile at me. n then she laughed. Heheheh At least i dun have little kids as my dinner. MUAHAHAHAH

Owh well, today i heard ryan seacrest talking about which gender is easier to handle? Boy or girl?

Well most of people would respond boys r easier to handle than girls which is true..

Lol

Even my parents especially my dad always said to me.. "I cnt handle u anymore. I'll leave u in God's hand."

Gheezzzz.. Cnt he be nicer to me ? =.=

Owh owh owh i went to my grandma's house today n my aunts were there..,

n_n mak jah brought dis 2 years old cute little girl n da moment i saw her i was already half crazy bout her..

Her name is Iris Irdina i think.. Beautiful name..

N shes damn cuteeeee n she wasnt afraid of me. at all. Lol

Dats a good thing.

OwhFUCKCRAP,

Lately i did my exam freaking horrible.

I had forgotten what i studied n read n i even ask forgiveness frm God and begged Him to help me bt he didnt..

Lol

 N tomorrow is agama..

*sigh

Exam is bullshitting w/ my life.. F ! =.=

Oh em geeeeeee !!!!!!! =\

Yesterday,
Me : Abah, paramore's concert is today..
Abah : Lyk i would let u go..
Me : (Fuck it fuck it fuck it.. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Haihzz... Watevershit.. My dad always mean to me.. =.=
Hohohoho i havnt even start to study sejarah.. lol
Holyshit... Sejarah is god-damn-boring owkeyyyyyy...
They cant blame me for that.. =D lol

:S

HolySHITCRAP !!!!

Today is the moment...

Once in a life time...

PARAMORE CONCERTTTTTTTTTT !!!!

Im cursing myself inside cuz couldnt have enough money,

Im cursing my parents cuz they wouldnt let me go to a concert...

Owh hell yeahhh...

I've never been to a concert before..

Honestly I cried cuz they said no n have no money to buy the tix

But wat-ever-lar-kan..

It seems that i have strong instinct that i would meet Hayley Williams and the gang !

Lol

Not sure how or when..

Hohoho

One can always dream ryt?

But somehow i think it would eventually turn up lyk i want to.. Wheeeeeeeee :D

I met her once.

Shes pretty. cool. hot. sexy.

Bt shes getting worst.

Dating my neighbour.

Arghh..

Gross?

Lol

Owh well..

I know im not supposed to judge her bt lately shes been really fuck up which im kinda worried.

Makes me thinking what if i would getting worse day by day?

What if i will be worse than her?

That kinda of thought scares the hell out of me..

I hope im becoming a better person..

Pray to God days and night...

Aminnn....

Enough with the pray...

Y am i suddenly become soo religious? =.=

LOL >.<

Devil : Y do u need to study nowww?? Ur spm is next year !! Ur wasting ur damn good time yawww !! Muahhahah !!

Angel : No no no no.. U musnt wait till next year nur raisah fatinah... Thats a wrong thing to do..Remember what abah n mak told u.. Which university u want to go.. U have to get excellent result for that my dear..Use ur brain... Ur an intelligent girl..

Devil : C???? Ur intelligent what for r u studying.. Ur wasting time pal.. Its better ur on9, or updating blog (*me : shit i juz listened to the devil ! =.="), reading a novel or reading magazines ! That would be much more fun than sitting down n study.. *yawnnnn BOH-RING !!

Angel : Use ur brain wisely my dear.. 

Devil : U need an entertainment ! Owh wait !! U havnt download adam lambert's song yet !! Go n do it now.!!

Me : Damnnnn... this is how im struggling w/ da demon n da angel inside me bout studying.. How cool is that? =.= haihhhhzzzz I thought sejarah paper is next week n it turn out to be dis week. FUCKALARRR....  IM DEAD T^T

Not a good fan of liars

Owhkey.

Maybe i would be speechless in front of u bt at least u should know how i felt okie girl?

Look i dont like people do lies to me even though its a small lie.

Nt a fan of that kind of people nor friend.

I dont know y u dont want to tell me the truth even though what u did was a common thing for me but do u really have to cover the truth?

Once u lied to me even though its a small thing u really make me feel insecure to be friends with u again.

And u do know that im really a sensitive person especially after what my cousin did to me, n now . . ..

I thought we were honest about each other.

Hey ! I dont want to be busybody about ur personal life that not many people knew about it nor wanted to be ur bestfriend soo desperately or terhegeh-hegeh nak rapat dengan kau or watsoever shit but at least just tell me the truth even though its stupid stuff. At least it makes me feel secure when im friends w/ u.

Owh well

The hell w/ u.

Lyk i care.

Ur life is none of my business ryt?

U would say dat in my face when u read dis cuz u thought that i was too bossy about ur life.

I noe u would want to do it but u try not to cuz if u did others would noe the real u.

Hohoho I dont even know who are my real friends.

That is the saddest part of my life.

Not knowing my true friends.

Its a sad life people.

Y am i always da one who uncovered da worst part of my friends?

Naaahhh its okie im fine.

Im strong soo dont u worry about me..

I dont need that kind of people to be w/ me..

Lol

Yeahhh

I can be damn emotional..

Sometimes..

I guess =.=

CHEERS :D

Too advance? -___-"

Fine.

I have to admit something people.

Im no good in english !

Lol 

owkeeyyyyyyyyyyyyy

That is soo random !

Hahaha

Too Advance?

What do i mean by that huh?
According to the dictionary too advance mean bla bla bla bla bla....

Im tooooooooooo lazzzyyyyyy to open the dictonary..

So y dont you open YOUR dictionary to find out what does it mean?

Too lazy too?

Lol 

Fineeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...

According to ME,

For me too advance is like i dont know..., beyond anyone?

lol

Im nt sure how old i really am bt according to my IC im only 16, notice the numbers there? SIXTEEN !

Bt sometimes i dont think as 16 years old girl. Teenage girl. Normal teenager.

Nowaday, in our teenage world, when ur 16 its lyk the starting for us to try doing something..

Well complex word 'stupid'..

Lyk drugs, alcohol, clubbing, sex, fashionista wannabe and bla bla blaaaa..

Im sorry if that offends u bt hey u have to admit it is true, ryt??

Too many things NORMAL teenagers would want to do or planning to do..

Its the same ryt? =____= lol

Fineee.. 

Bt bt bt as for me, 16 is lyk a whole brand new world through my eyes...

Juz thank to God that ur nt me.. =.=

I've been struggling with myself lately..

N its really confusing and hard..

It drives me crazy sometimes..

Sooo yeah life is  hard.. 

Everyone has their own dark side..

Well im nt sure if i do have one..

Lol

Bt not that darkkkk...

Theres still light somewhere there -___-

lol

Im nt sure if Im really that bad person,

Till my own cousin,

MY VERY OWN COUSIN,

that i really really love talk behind my back.

Talk bad stuff bout me..

Am i dat bad?

R u really judging me by what others told u?

Look..., people if u really think that im really that FUCK UP,

then forget it..

Ur nt me or my very close friends..

Even some of my very close friends they misjudge me..

Sometimes it is very hard for me to find someone who can be on the same page on me, other than me, myself and I and God =.=

Sooo please cuz i cant keep ur fucking pretty mouth UP juz mind ur own business.. My life wont be part of your life.. Lyk I want to be part of yours.. Arghhhh eww much? JOKING ! lol

Bt yeahh u noe still..

Im a little bit confused w/ myself lately..

I love my boyfriend soo much which i hope will be my husband.. Soon.. lol

N n n i really like to be w/ dis girl..

I juz discovered her real world which yeahhh pretty cool.... I dun noe how da hell she could cover the other side of her... =___=

Hohoho my kitty bumbum.  :D

Phewwww I feel soo much better ryt nw... g2g ! Bye people... ;)